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Stopping the Silence: My Tool to Escape From Domestic Violence and to Find Liberty and Justice

The Healing Process
Stopping the Silence
Telling Saved Me
More than a year
Thanks to the NYPD
Telling the Court
To the Judge
What You Need to Know
It Is About Control
Signs of Abuse
Gay Domestic Violence
LGBT 2001 DV report
Domestic Violence Cycle
Why do You Stay? Traumatic Bonding
Escape from Domestic Violence
Hotline Numbers
DV and Genger: What I Have to Say
Healing Process
Survivor's Pages
Criminals Exposed
My Link Suggestions
SignBook

I found the following information on the web, I am looking for the source so that I can name author(s). 

THE DECISION TO HEAL


Once you recognize the effects of abuse in your life, you need to make an active commitment to heal. Deep healing happens only when you chose it and are willing to change yourself.



THE EMERGENCY STAGE


Beginning to deal with memories and supressed feelings can throw your life into utter turmoil. Remember, this is only a stage and it will not last forever.



REMEMBERING


Some survivors supress all memories of what happened to them. Those who do not forget the actual events often forget how it felt at the time. Remembering is the prodess of getting back both memory and feeling.


BELIEVING IT HAPPENED


Survivors often doubt their own perceptions. Coming to believe that the abuse really happened, and that it really hurt you, is a vital part of healing.



BREAKING SILENCE


Most survivors kept the abuse. Telling another human being about what happened to you is a powerful healing force that can dispel the shame of being a victim.



UNDERSTANDING THAT IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT


Victims usualyusually believe the abuse is their fault. Survivors (key word) must place the blame where it belongs--directly on the shoulders of the abuser.


MAKING CONTACT WITH THE CHILD WITHIN


Many survivors have lost touch with their own vulnerability. Getting in touch with the child within can help you feel compassion for yourself, more anger at your abuser, and greater intimacy with others.


TRUSTING YOURSELF


The best guide for healing is your own inner voice. Learning to trust your own feelings, perceptions, and intuitions forms a new basis for action in the world.



GRIEVING AND MOURNING


You are no longer the person that was getting abused, you are a survivor-starting a new life, so to speak. Grieving is a way to honor your pain, let go, and move into the present.



ANGER


Anger is a powerful and liberating force. Whether you need to get in touch with it or have always had plenty to spare, directing your rage squarely at your abuser, and at those who didn’t protect you, is pivotal to healing.


DISCLOSURES AND CONFRONTATIONS


Directly confronting your abuser and/or your family is not for every survivor, but it can be a dramatic, cleansing tool.


 

FORGIVENESS?

Forgiveness of the abuser is not an essential part of the healing process, although it tends to be the one most recommended. The only essential forgiveness is for yourself.


SPIRTUALITY


Having a sense of a power greater than yourself can be a real asset in the healing process. Spirituality is a uniquely personal experience. You might find it through traditional religion, meditation, nature, or your support group.


RESOLUTION AND MOVING ON

As you move through these stages again and again, you will reach a point of integration. Your feelings and experiences will stabilize. You will come to terms with your abuser and other family members. While you won’t erase your history, you will make deep and lasting changes in your life. Having gained awareness, compassion, and power through healing, you will have the opportunity to work toward a better world.

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