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Stopping the Silence: My Tool to Escape From Domestic Violence and to Find Liberty and Justice

Thank You Letters to the NYC Police Department (NYPD)
Stopping the Silence
Telling Saved Me
More than a year
Thanks to the NYPD
Telling the Court
To the Judge
What You Need to Know
It Is About Control
Signs of Abuse
Gay Domestic Violence
LGBT 2001 DV report
Domestic Violence Cycle
Why do You Stay? Traumatic Bonding
Escape from Domestic Violence
Hotline Numbers
DV and Genger: What I Have to Say
Healing Process
Survivor's Pages
Criminals Exposed
My Link Suggestions

Domestic violence and police officers:  I want everyone to know that the police officers who dealt with my case were amazing!  They showed me that I was in a domestic violence realationship and were a major source of support as I freed myself from the abuse.

My e-mail to NYC's Gay Officers Action League (GOAL)

Thank you for the work you have been conducting at the NYPD over the years. I believe the sensitivity training you provide at the NYPD helped change things for the better.  I have been living in NYC since the mid 80's when I was a just a teenager who had come to the USA fro Brazil.  Over the years, I would read or hear that crime reports made by gays were not taken seriously and that gays were not treated respectfully when reporting a crime.  Yet, when I watched GOAL NY marching down Fifth Avenue on my first gay pride I was overwhelmed by emotions and in my mind I imagined that those gay police officers were extremely brave to have come out to the NYPD and so I was inspired and overacted my fear and come out to my fellow students and professors at NYU.   Also, I always imagined that if I one day I needed help from the NYPD I would ask for a GOAL member. 
The years passed and then on May 2001 I became romantically involved with my ex-boyfriend.  He presented himself to be the perfect partner and by July 2001, he had gained my trust. Soon, his true self began to emerge.  He became verbally abusive and soon he started to physically abuse me.  I finally was able to free myself and get out of the domestic violence cycle this last March and if it were not for those police officers who came to my help I would have been dead today. 
From the very first time (8/11/01) the police came to my rescue, they treated me with concern, respect, and became invested in helping me understand what was happening.  At no time my sexual orientation became an issue.  Those police officers were only concerned for my safety and they were the first to warn me that Frankie would eventually kill me.  Every officer involved in my case saw the seriousness of what I was going through before I was even able to see it myself.  They helped me get counseling with the gay and lesbian AVP, assigned PO Segnini, a domestic violence officer from MTS, to my case and she also took a very active role in my protection.  But, like many victims of abuse and trauma I was on denial for several months and the abuse only escalated.  Each time the police had to come to my apartment they express more concern for my life and motivated me to leave Frankie.  My attempts to have no contact were futile and soon I would fall for the lies and manipulation, and every promise he made would be broken. 
Then, on September 18, 2001, only seven days after our City was devastated by the terrorist act of September 11, Frankie nearly killed me at a restaurant shoving a broken drinking glass into the right side of my neck cutting an artery.  He ran out of the restaurant.  I just went in to shock and disbelieve, and even though I saw how badly I was bleeding I could not believe it was happening. Instantly, bleeding got worst and I thought I was going to die.  I blocked every thing out of my mind and focussed with the help from the police officers and the paramedics on saving my life.  When I left the intensive care unit to a regular hospital room I was not emotionally and psychologically able to connect with the reality that man who said he loved me was a monster and he would never be the good person he portrayed himself to be. 
Still, every police officer that dealt with this case continued to help me overcome the trauma and help me leave that criminal.  They never stopped listening to me, and protecting me from that criminal until I finally was able to do it own my own and follow through the criminal charges.  The following are all complaint #s regarding this e-mail: 16821, 6450, 20154, 1789, 2565.
I believe that because you were brave enough to come out and show the NYPD that we are not defined by our sexual orientation alone, it is just one part of who we are.  By overcoming your fear of discrimination within your place of work and coming out to the NYPD, you probably played a role in helping shape the way those officers were able to help me save my life.
Thank you!


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Gay domestic violence:  The facts and the major dynamics Domestic violence in same-sex relationships.

My e-mail to the police Commissioner

Dear Commissioner
As a NYC resident who is also gay, I have been very outspoken about my experience with the NYC police department.  The NYPD not only saved my life, but also was a major source of support in helping me escape from domestic violence.  Every officer who helped me, did it with concern and respect regardless of my sexual identity.  I am grateful those officers came in to my life, especially PO Segnini from PCT# MTS.  The following are all complaint #s regarding this e-mail: 16821, 6450, 20154, 1789, 2565.  Again thank you all for saving my life and helping me overcome the abuse.  I am making it clear to the NYC gay community that the NYPD took all my complaints seriously even though I am gay (in fact sexual orientation did not seem to be an issue) and that the NYPD played a major role in helping me leave an abusive relationship and saving my life.  
THANK YOU!!!!!!!

Next, read the response I received from the Commissioner's Office:

Visit the Gay Officers Action League Web Site: