On September, 18th 2001 Frankie Arena's criminal actions nearly killed me. I did not give up and I survived the attempted murder and I survived domestic violence. I have a responsibility to help others and they the world about the horrors of domestic violence. People may learn from my experience and free themselves from the tyranny of domestic violence while others may join me in stopping domestic violence by learning about it and talking to others about DV. My message is: Domestic violence has to stop!
My story is not much different from those of other survivors. There are some issues that really seem to part from the norm. First, I was in that relationship less than six months when he tried to kill me by cutting an artery on my neck. The abuser usually will progressively increase his violent behavior, and killing his partner tends to happen later. Also, I am a man who was abused by another man and I began to ask for help from survivors of domestic violence and they helped me! I thank God they took me in and were there for me. Well, I am the only man who joined the DV board. I am very privileged to be part of this group who after suffering the same pain and torture on the hands of their husbands, partners, BFs have turned their experiences around and spend an incredible amount of their time to help other women escape domestic while keeping up with their responsibilities to care for their children, to take care of themselves and work. In addition to all these tasks, they took me in and helped me too: a man who found himself in the same situation women have been the coping for decades on the hands of other men. This experience, made me stronger and a better person. I feel what it is to be human because now I am able to see other as humans and not as a women/men/gay/straight and issues of race/religion/social class/ no longer confuse me for we all are human beings. Life has always been a mixture of happiness, pride moments, hurt, pain, happiness --- "the ups and downs"--- What is different now, is that I know what is like to be tortured, oppressed, to be stripped from my humanity, and to dissociated from the world in order to survive. I no longer can silently accept injustice and oppression of any sort. To do that would mean losing my humanity. That is why I can no longer pretest domestic violence is not every one's issue. My goal in life is to help other victim's of domestic violence stand up against injustice, their oppression, their lost of basic freedoms (such as freedom of speech), their loss of liberty, and their loss of their humanity.
This was one of the worst crimes he commited against me, he nearly killed me this time: